Strategies to Help Your Child Make an Effective Transition to a New School Year
To help your child feel less anxious and make a smooth transition to their next grade level, school or new teacher, I have created a list of suggestions and strategies for you to consider:
Use the school’s website to watch for important dates and event. Attend all scheduled meetings and events that pertain to your child’s grade at the start and throughout the school year. Be sure to note which ones are for parents only and which ones include students.
For kindergarten screening appointments, don’t focus too much about the screening being a test to see how smart they are or how much they know. Tell them it is a way for teachers to meet the students coming to their class and to help them know what challenging and exciting things to teach them. Don’t be that parent who is quizzing their child on letters, colors, days of the week or counting to 25 on the way to the screening appointment! Help your child to separate from you to go into the screening appointment without you by letting them know you will be waiting to hear how much fun they had and how proud they will feel that they can go in all by themselves. Offer a small prize or treat when they finish.
Most schools do not let parents know who their child’s teacher is going to be until the end of the summer. This is simply because class lists can change up until the first day of school. Find out when class lists are posted and when you can find out. Don’t make this a bigger issue than it is for your child. Tell them it will not matter if they don’t have all their friends in their class because they will meet new friends. If you know “inside information” about a certain teacher, be sure to not let your child hear you talking about him/her to other parents. This information is often times inaccurate. Past student/teacher relationships you may hear about may not apply to your child and their new teacher(s). Keep in mind that teachers are dedicated and committed to their students. Teachers feel that all children matter and are special. They recognize that each student that walks through their classroom door each year is unique with individual learning styles. Also know that educator evaluations are conducted multiple times during a teacher’s tenure and are systematically reviewed by the school administration to assess job performance. You can review your school district’s teacher performance on the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE) website for more information.
Over the school vacations, don’t make school a frequent topic of conversation. Let your child enjoy their vacation from school and school demands. For the beginning of each next school year, towards the last 2-3 weeks of August, start talking about going to the “new school” or “back to school”. Create your own social story from the template provided. You will need to insert pictures to make the story individualized for your child.
Before the school year starts and during the first few weeks of school, take frequent rides to the school using the roads that are taken by bus, van or by car. This will let your child know that you are aware of where they are each day should they need you! On weekends pack a picnic lunch or snack and let them play on the school’s playground so they can share with you what they do at recess.
During the first week of school, have your child draw a picture to give to their teacher as a “surprise” or bring a small potted plant for their teacher’s desk. Your child will be happy to see their picture hanging up in their class or their plant they gave on the teacher’s desk.
If your child appears really anxious ask the teacher If you can go to the school when there are no children present and when your teacher is available for you to go and take pictures of all environments your child will be accessing. Be sure to get permission first! If possible, take a picture of your child’s teacher standing next to your child. If your child is on an IEP and receives special education services, ask to take pictures of their special educators and therapists too. Print out the pictures and label them with names for your child to learn. Incorporate the pictures into a social story that you can create for your child. Make this a fun activity. After picture day in the fall, label the names of each classmate under their picture to help your child learn their names.
Make a big deal about purchasing that very special backpack and lunch box. If there is a list of school supplies or “teacher’s wish list”, have your child help to pick things out.
If your child is riding the bus or a van to school for the first time, DON”T follow them as they may see you and become more anxious.
During the school year implement a daily schedule that can be consistently followed. Include routines and schedules for morning, after school, homework, dinner and bedtime.
To help parents and their kids to get the day started on the “right foot”, I have developed My School Day Morning Routine Chart. Often when your child’s morning gets a rocky start the school day may begin with a few bumps in the road, especially if your child does not eat a healthy breakfast or you have argued with them about making you late. Morning routines for children typically have no spare time to waste as parents are getting ready for work themselves or have to bring siblings to different schools. Making your child self-sufficient and able to get ready on their own will help everyone. The chart can be used as a reinforcement program to motivate learning. Directions for use and a data sheet are included. Use the chart as a template to create additional routines for after school, homework, dinner, bedtime, etc.
During the first weeks of school be prepared for anxiety issues. Meaning YOURS! Be careful not to let your child know how anxious you may be but show excitement and how proud you are that they are reaching this next important milestone. Validate their feelings if they tell you they are scared or afraid. Talk to your child’s teachers to share what your child may be telling you how they feel about specific anxiety-producing activities, environments or people.
When your child gets home from school avoid asking too many questions. Questions like “What did you learn? Who did you play with? Did you eat all your lunch? Did you do all your work?” may overwhelm your child after a long day at school. Allow them to unwind with a healthy snack and play for a bit before doing homework or sharing their day with you. They will share information at their own pace and will give you more information when they can take the time to do this on their own. Try to comment more than ask questions and listen attentively to what they are sharing without passing judgement. Help them to create problem solving strategies when they share social difficulties with a teacher, friend or classmate. Use the following phrases when warranted: “Maybe you can try asking your teacher for help before you start to feel upset. Let’s practice what you can say or do when you can’t solve a difficult math problem. When I have a problem with a friend, I ask them first what’s wrong and what can I do to help or do better next time. Let’s role play what that can look like. Let your friend know that they hurt your feelings. What are some words you can use to tell a friend you’re are upset? Let’s come up with a few things you can say right now.”. Taking a more problem-solving approach rather than dispensing “words of wisdom” or telling your child what they should do or should not do teaches and models appropriate social skills and helps your child in becoming socially independent. When kids work together to solve one conflict this skill can generalize to new problems that may arise.
“Best Wishes for a Smooth, Safe and Effective Transition to Your Child’s Next School Year! Wishing your Child School Success in Learning and Sustaining Friendships!